Minister's Message – October 2025

Dear Christian Friends,

A Preacher at a Valentine’s Day retreat in 2016 pronounced from a pulpit, “Divorce has no place in God’s kingdom.” Four years later, that same preacher separated from his wife.

This is not a story of irony. It is a story of humanity.

Marriage, divorce, and remarriage are not just theological concepts. They are lived realities—complex, painful and beautiful. And while Scripture offers guidance, it also invites us to wrestle with the concept of grace.

What Did Jesus Say?

In Matthew 19:1-11, the Pharisees posed a question to Jesus about divorce. Jesus responded by affirming the sacredness of marriage: “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” But He also acknowledged the reality of dashed dreams and hopes: “Moses permitted divorce because your hearts were hard.” This was not a loophole. It was a lament.

Their legalism did not trick Jesus. He pointed them back to the heart of God: covenant, compassion, and truth. And He did not condemn those who were facing difficulties and pain. He offered them a way forward.

Divorce is never easy. It can bring grief, guilt, and sometimes relief. It affects children, families, and communities. And yet, it happens among the faithful just as with any other group.

Some marriages die quietly. Others explode in violence. And some, tragically, become places of abuse. Let it be said clearly: no one should endure an abusive relationship. NEVER. The God of love does not ask His children to suffer in silence. To stay in a marriage that destroys your soul is not holiness; it is harm.

What About Remarriage?

For some, remarriage is a second chance. A new beginning. A healing of what was lost. For others, it is complicated emotionally, spiritually, socially and financially. The church must walk gently here. Not with rigid rules, but with discerning love. Not with shame, but with wisdom. Every story is different. Every heart deserves to be heard.

A Personal Word

I have been married for 39 years. It has not been easy, cosy, or smooth. It has had its own ups and downs. But it has been a personal choice—a daily decision to make it work, no matter what. Not because it is perfect, but because it is precious.

I do not speak as one untouched by struggle. I speak as someone who has seen the valleys and the mountaintops. And I know that grace is needed in both.

So, what do we say to the divorced? To the remarried? To those still holding on?

We say: You are not defined by your past. You are loved. You are welcome. You are not alone.

Let us stop using Scripture as a weapon. Let us start using it as a balm of healing. Let us honour marriage, yes, but let us also honour healing, safety, and truth. Let us be a church that reflects the heart of Christ: full of grace and truth.

“Divorce has no place in God’s kingdom,” some say. But I believe the kingdom is bigger than our failures. It is a place of restoration, not rejection. A place where broken things are made whole. Praise God.

A Final Thought

Jesus did not come for the perfect. He came for the weary, the wounded, and the wandering. The woman at the well had five husbands, and yet, He offered her living water. The woman caught in adultery was surrounded by stones, and yet, He provided her dignity and a new beginning.

So let us be careful not to build walls where Jesus built bridges. Let us not confuse holiness with harshness. The gospel is not a checklist; it is a lifeline. To those who have loved and lost, who have tried and failed, who have stayed too long or left too soon: you are not beyond grace. You are not beyond redemption. You are not beyond belonging.

The church must be a place where broken hearts are mended, not judged, where stories are honoured, not silenced. Where the ethics of Jesus Christ, mercy, justice, and truth, guide us more than tradition or fear.

There is no marriage in heaven. But there is love. There is healing. There is God.

And here on earth, may we reflect that kingdom not by perfection, but by grace.

Loving God,
We thank You for the gift of relationship and the beauty of every season of life.
Bless those who are married with unity and strength.
Comfort widows and widowers with Your peace and presence.
Uplift the single with purpose and joy.
May each heart find belonging in You,
And may Your love be the anchor in every journey.

Thank you, and God bless.

Devotedly yours,

Rev George K. Quarm